kairos: "God's time"

kairos was a bit disappointing. it was still great but not as amazing as everyone said it would be. so there are 5 kairos groups and i went on the 3rd one. people that went on 1st and 2nd one said it was life changing and simply amazing. i dont like to get my hopes up or expect too much in anything because well, i dont like to be disappointed. but maybe deep inside i was really really excited for it because everyone hyped it up so much. the "kairos secrets" were cool and i cried (just like everyone said EVERYONE cries at kairos) at some parts. but they weren't enough to make this once in a lifetime experience unforgettable. i mean, i can come back with alumni to lead it if i want to but then i dont want to do that. sigh, i dont know. i heard that our kairos group was the worst, in terms of people not really opening up with their small group, not getting emocional, but taking things really lightly and almost fooling around. like we were almost forced to go up and share our opinions whereas other kairos group people volunteered to go up, shared their thoughts sincerely, shed some tear, etc. it was a lot more religious than i thought it would be. i know the retreat is about spending time with God but the whole Catholic religion and the rules suffocates me. some of the personal talks felt like lectures..i've been dealing with religion classes since 6th grade and i guess it never hits me because i'm a Christian. it's soooo much better. it was still good and i had a lot of fun, relaxing time getting to know people better, some i've known since middle school but made friends with.

so i have no idea why i'm updating this right now i have SO much work to do
i dont think i've had this much stuff to do all in one night before..
procrastination is horrrrrible and 8 days of missing school doesn't help either
oh no oh no oh nooooooooooooooo
senioritis is freaking scary, not even kidding.
is it bad to wish for a weekend this early ???

and this thought popped up in my head just now, why do (almost) all the guys i start to form interest in are either gay or taken ?

hahahahahahah ..haha

...or we just stop talking

just makes me curious. i need a buddy to talk about boys

nothing serious though so phew! as i said before i'm so good at getting over situations

love how

nothing works out these days
"God will never give you more than you can handle"

ughhhhhhhhhhhh


and i love how you cant do anything without money. NOTHING in my case

힘들다 힘들어

hopefully this phase passes soon
anyway, kairos is tomorrow ...perfect time to get away and ponder upon my hectic life lol
i'll be back friday guys, don't miss me too much k :]

it's pretty scary

how fast i get over things, well metaphorically.
it's like i was never mad, worried, or had those crazy butterflies in my stomach.
i get over it just like that. like at a snap of a finger

honestly what the heck is wrong with me