................time for me to go crawl under a rock and stay there for awhile

good bye friends contact me via phone

people i care about are going through some tough shiet
and they're all happening at the same time.
so much is going on, i get overwhelmed; i consider their problem like they're mine and i get all hyped up haha. now that i think about it, it feels nice that they come to me to vent but you can only console them for so long...you eventually run out of things to say. i'm not talking about fake advices that mean nothing. how do i make them feel better? i can't stand them being sad all the freaking time


this makes me forget (temporarily) about my own problems. so i guess that's kinda good

few things that came to realization past couple of days:

i bite my nails a LOT during testing..........sick

i like listening to fob music in the car when it's raining (?)

my right shoulder/back area has gotten worseeee

i'm tired of being the bridge for people!!...

rain

is growing on me :-)

Today,

this one cute, outgoing sophomore girl from my school passed away from some rare cancer...Life is way too short

this one mexican kid got arrested trying to steal a bottle of cologne from hollister. we have a new LP guy named travis. hes this big white guy walking around the store acting like a regular customer and then catches shoplifters. anyway, this kid got brought back of the store and i was in the back pulling USR items to put them out on the salesfloor. he said his name was mario lopez 17 from panorama city, no ID of any kind. he had a brand new itouch still in the case, and ~$50 (claiming that theyre his friend's). 2 hrs later, two cops came in and handcuffed the kid. and they found a school ID and turns out his name is actually Graciel, 18. he also lied about his address and phone number straigh out of his ass. he ended up going to the station because he wasnt a juvenile. the end

mah hood

i took these few weeks ago; i havent used my camera in awhile and the weather was PERFECT. i love love love perfect skies

i'll be sad when/if we really move :(

(+)

this is my good friend eric looking quite happy to see his new rebel xsi.. a group of us got it for him for his birthday last year. i want to steal it everytime i see it.. i cant be the photographer everytime we hang out anymore. i cry inside when i have to give it back. i'm gonna work hard to get this in my hands soon...soon THIS YEAR?!
rebel xsi ~$800

i've been "promising" my 3 childhood friends (2 in canada) that i'll visit korea like the past 8-9 years. i told my mom that i'm going no matter what after graduation. SUMMER AFTER HS CMON i feel like i HAVE to go because i 큰소리 뻥뻥쳐 to everyone that we'll meet up finally...
roundtrip to korea ~$1200?

my group of friends have been going to Coachella the past 3 years. i have not.
Coachella for 3days ~$300

my verizon contract isnt over for another year but...
iPhone ~$200?


this is so depressing

lol

Oh, the way she feels about me has changed
Thanks for playing, try again.
How could I forget?
Mama said "think before speaking"
No filter in my head
Oh, what's a boy to do
I guess he better find one


I'm never speaking up again
It only hurts me
I'd rather be a mystery
Than she desert me


One more thing
Why is it my fault?
So maybe I try too hard
But it's all because of this desire
I just wanna be liked
I just wanna be funny
Looks like the jokes on me
So call me captain backfire


I'm never speaking up again
it only hurts me
I'd rather be a mystery
than she desert me


oh i'm never speaking up again
i'm never speaking up again
i'm never speaking up again
Starting now, starting now...


EDIT----------------------------------

before the midnight service, i was with ellie and we had the best time talking about our future husbands lol i never really thought about it after 'what my ideal boyfriend would be like' back in 1st grade because i mean who would at this age? it's weird enough that we were talking about this so enthusiastically and wanting to get married already LOL. so this is what i came up with,
someone that can:
make me laugh, cook because i cant, knows how to clean lol because i saw one of my gooyuk ahjussi clean with the wife after a dinner party the other night and it was SO NICE, someone christian, loves kids&dogs, tall not scrawny because i would feel fat, patient, understanding, and someone who would sing for me once in a while LOL because it's the best.. and thats all i remember.

ellie legitimately wants to marry minho from SHINee. someone tall, has deep voice, good at soccer because thats her favorite sport lol, etc i cant remember the details. or she wants to marry a doctor. she also said she wants to marry someone like her dad. i thought that's the cutest thing ever


just a bunch of silly girls living in a fantasy~