bye bye 2009

during yet another attempt to clean out my room (desk, drawer, closet, etc) i found and realized few things.

i found a 3 page letter i wrote back in 07 to my best childhood girlfriend who now lives in canada. i wrote it, but never actually sent it...probably because i didnt know her current address lol (i still dont know). so i read over it and i'm thinking to myself: 'WHY did i write all this? good thing this was never sent' if she read it, she probably wouldnt have known what to say. lol oh so naive of me

i found about hundred receipts. WHY did i keep every single receipt? i think i just tossed them straight into my drawer. theyre all like starbucks, galleria, chipotle, jamba juice..
i also found so many of hollister printouts of me clocking in&out.

then i found few pics and i'm thinking 'WHY did i do my makeup that way?' .....

i also have some freaking weird clothes in my closet
which reminds me, i seriously need new clothes like shirts and jackets.
i noticed i have a lot of jeans and sneakers and like 2 tees ...

and THEN i found my old paintings and sketches i did back in 01-02 when i took art classes at KANG AE-JA by marie callender's LOL i remember my sister and i would always make fun of her name.
looking at the drawings and sketches, i'm like 'WHY did i suck so badly?' i laughed at myself
Which reminds me, i still need to do finals painting ..

there were stuff like barnabas books from retreats (SO FUNNY) and few more interesting things but i'm just gonna leave em.
'
tomorrow is the last day of the decade! !!!!!!

i don't think i've ever spent my paycheck that fast before. 2 weeks of hard work paid off though. i love spending money on people i love. haha
now i'm broke and can't wait til next paycheck...........

after i dropped off shayan's christmas present, i was telling my mom about how he really likes this one girl and how it's so cute etc etc etc and my mom goes "why aren't boys asking YOU out?!?" i laughed

Christmas was great just spent it with my mom and little bro.. Avatar was really good but not AMAZING like how everyone described (except 1 person being dbyun).
saw bit of Sherlock Holmes ...robert downey jr always looks so cool in movies. just his roles as a hero makes me fall in love :) i can't wait to see iron man 2

1 more week til school starts again ...and i'm really dreading it.
2009 definitely had more downs then ups heh hopefully 2010 will be better.

the word "abandon"

scares me
버리다
ie. 우릴 버렸다

i never thought of the situation that way but i guess it's the truth.
but the sad thing is that i really don't mind.
i'll miss you someday
SOMEday
but not now.
i'm actually glad


i remember at one ce winter conference, i dont remember who the guest speaker/pastor was (he was from some other church), but during the prayer he came up to me and after he prayed for me he specifically said "He wants me to let you know that when everyone else leaves you, He will never ever leave you. He will never abandon you" and that kinda hit me hard and i didnt understand why then. i could've thought 'he probably says that to everyone' but it was different. well i think i kinda get it now with everything that has happened this year.

-----------------------

on a brighter note,
it's christmas eve!!!

i'll have work and then i dunno what will happen because my mom and i thought the church christmas performance would be on xmas eve but it was actually today/yesterday. so i ended up missing it and worked 430-1230am-____- so unbelievably tired right now. we basically planned out the next few days around that but now i dont know. maybe i'll take us out on sushi..and go to the GROVE!! even though we planned to go there ON christmas day. or maybe watch AVATAR!! although my mom doesnt want to see that ..hmmm i guess whatever we do we'll make it fun and special. i freaking love my mom

-----------------------

i cant wait til kairos
!!!

the Naked Kitchen

it was a cute, mellow movie... but why do almost all korean movies and drama have good stories but really bad endings?

so i deleted the picture/post of goo hara because i sounded way too obsessed and i'm honestly not...? i dunno lol

anyway.....

God really does work in mysterious ways.
my prayer got answered and it was SO unexpected
i love how He picks you up when you hit rock bottom (or you feel like you hit rock bottom).
when i was going through some tough stuff, He came to me.
Thank you thank you thank you!!!!!

i never really believed when people said this
He works in mysterious ways....it's true:)

googled bodyaches and pains

"Many of these aches come about because you have not been taking care of your body as well as you should
Taking care of yourself involves treating and caring for your body as if your body was that of your own child's. You watch that you eat well, nutritiously (no canned, super preserved with chemicals, super salty or sweet foods). Try to cook your foods daily ( no prepackaged stuff like mac and cheese -isn't cheese supposed to be in the fridge??? if it's not like cheezits then there's some chemical in it).

Make sure you sleep before 11 or 12. The organs needs its time to repair at night. Some people have so much work to do they stay up late much too often for their own good. When you don't get the rest you need, your body gets tighter and tighter causing muscle restriction and cutting off the circulation. Then you will have areas of poor circulation and tender spots.
Not just that, you have to make sure you drink enough water. Not coffee or soda but water. You are made up of mostly water. Imagine have dried up joints and tissue? There is no buoyancy to your soft tissues if there is not enough liquid in your diet.

You have to move...exercise...walk...you can't just sit all day. Your muscles hold up your bones. If you sit most of the day you will become weak and stiff. Then the muscles will not support your bones and joints and they will start to rub and wear down and hurt.

If you live like the American Indians, eating off the land, working in the garden and hunting and gathering, taking care of each other, then you will be better off. We live in a complex society. Too much fast food,,,,too fast paced...not enough time...

Stress can cause tension in muscles. Stress on the bodies can make you hurt. Please try meditation, deep breathing, imagery. They can all change how your body is keeping the stress in your body.

Stress is a killer. If you are worried about your family, about money, or about your life all the time, you're going to hurt yourself by breaking down your body. It's not worth it in the end.

For those who has been taking care of themselves, aches all of the body and numbness and tingling may be caused by a virus that decided to attack your nervous system. Viruses are tough to figure out.
Try to stay away from foods that are not cooked and prepared outside your home like raw oysters and clams and salads. You never know if bacteria or viruses are lurking or if the person separating the lettuce leaves washed their hands after peeing.

Don't stock up on vitamins. One multi is enough. Get the nutrients from foods. If you don't know how to prepare vegetables and lean meat look it up. Delicious recipes are everywhere. You need to take the time out to do that. Back in the day, no one had these symptoms. People are too stressed out nowadays about everything and tend to push their bodies to the limit. It's like a car, you need to tune it up all the time, check the oil, wash it, drive it around ( don't let it sit in the driveway), etc.

I hope this helps. If you need more guidance please see professional medical help. You can try all kinds of wellness avenues like acupuncture, acupressure, myofascial release, reiki, physical therapy, meditation practice, etc... "


i'm in painnnnnnnnnnnnnn and my body is tingly
i feel like a halmunee

..............................

...................................................................
.....................................................................

♥

we turned on the heat right now because the cold is just unbearable. i freaking HATE the cold weather. gaawrrrrghh
but i LOVE LOVE LOVE christmas season

rain is okay only when i'm at home in bed
snow is great
sun is the greatest
wind is the worst

i've been listening to KOST 103.5 a lot...holiday music makes me happy

my favorite 2:

Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas
Last Christmas (I Gave You My Heart)

hehehe♥