dream machine

i keep having bad dreams.

lovey dovey & heartwarming

movies that i recommend =)

korean movies:

for christmas season ♥

my stomach has been hurting soo much lately. it's like sharp pangs of pain right under my rib cage. i've always had stomach pains and weird bacterias eating away my stomach, haha, but that was many years ago. my mom thinks it came back or somthing and now i'm starting to freak out. she says i have to drink milk, but i don't like milk unless it's with Special K. hmm.

i'm working on black friday and i can already smell one hell of a swap meet..crazy crazy people. i'll be working 430-11pm if anyone would like to visit me....that'd be great.

i love thanksgiving food. i was looking foward to going to my gooyuk person's house for some major feast but they're not having one this year. well considering it's only me, my mom, and jay in the house, it will be a day just like any other. this is like the only time when i wish my relatives lived here also hahah. it's not so much about the food, well okay the food is pretty dang important, but it's all about being with family and appreciating what ya got. well i'd still like to be with family AND lots of food. turkey, mashed potato, pumpkin pie, and cranberry sauce. i just thought of the movie, Happy Thanksgiving, Charlie Brown. charlie and snoopy are having friends over for thanksgiving dinner but they couldn't cook legit food so snoopy made popcorn and toast, haha. i feel like that would happen to my family-_-

anyway, hooray for thanksgiving break!!

Clueless

i seriously don't know what to do...
what's the best option for me?
who knows what's best for me?
what to do what to do

i'm thinking too much (?) after reading an email from my sister.
i miss her_

The future freaks me out

narcolepsy

i've been going to bed fairly early since school started. by midnight i feel like i'm gonna pass out..i used to stay up til 3 regularly. [it's the old ageeeee.] today: i almost fell asleep driving home. and i fell asleep when i was painting during art class. i messed up couple times. and i fell asleep taking notes during gov. but i always wake up 3 seconds later. it's not like i fall asleep and keep sleeping... and once i fell asleep eating soup. does starbucks double shot really work

haha

i think i'm lonely. it's definitely not the i-need-a-boyfriend-i'm-desperate kind of loneliness. i feel like there is something missing. there's like a big gush of wind in my heart as emo as that sounds. maybe it's my sister and my dad being gone, maybe it's God. maybe it's the change of season. maybe it's my longing for true friends. not that there's any problem or drama. but i feel like i need to be around people; i've been independent and distant for so long. i want to sit down and have heart to heart conversations

Can't Wait

I can't wait til February 16th.

Kairos feb 16~19

Something extraordinary.

& I can't wait til Christmas season ♥

Last night, because I was slightly sick of listening to Edwin's "Brotherhood & Gangsta mixes" on replay <--I burnt a new fob CD for the car. I almost fell asleep while it was burning but I made SURE to put in enough songs so it wouldn't go over the 80 min limit and not work again.
So this morning while I was getting ready for school, I put in the CD into my stereo and what do you know...it didn't work once again. I think I wasted about ~8 blank cds altogether past 2 months. SO FRUSTRATING. This made me upset but I soon got over it after few minutes.

I had US GOPO first- We only had to discuss 1 bill so we had an hour of free time. Oliver wasn't there..I slept.

and then I had Art..I really don't like this class. It's supposed to be my favorite class but Carol Salak is ...mean and unpleasant. I've come to realization that acrylic painting is not my thing. Last year, I went into Nela Steric's art class thinking I hate watercolor but I came out of her class loving it..this year is the opposite :(

Lastly, I had pastoral ministry. This class is so relaxing because we get to sit on the couches and pray, talk, do nothing. 3 girls in my class brought 3 batches of baked goods just because they felt like baking yesterday. Cupcakes & brownies + empty stomach = me :-)

I could've left at 12:50 like all the other seniors but I stayed and went to AP Bio review 1:30-3. Hopefully good results will come out of this although she only went over the old chapters and the other 50% is on the new chapters... I want to say that taking ap bio was the biggest mistake I made this year.

Some guys in my grade found 2 puppies at the park by my school this morning. I played with one of them before going to the review....one of the CUTEST puppy I've ever seen! I wanted to take him home so badly !! Scooter needs a friend

I need a new job new job new job new job new job JEW NOB

I love,

I love watching re-runs of America's Next Top Model.
I love catching up with my mom on the stairs infront of my house.
I love feeling warm sunshines on my back.
I love staying in comfortable pajamas during the day.
I love getting random texts from people.
I love cuddling with my dog!
I love babies. I love Lorenzo.
I love seeing my brother get excited to hear ice cream trucks.
I love Saturdays.

Suddenly upset

..Are you kidding me
I don't know if this is making me want to just give up more than ever
or start trying my hardest.
I shouldn't have looked. A surprise that should've remained a secret
or is it better that I know this?
미안해

I don't know why it hurts my pride. My heart stings a little. It really shouldn't but it makes me want to cry. This whole situation just might bring tears to my eyes. Why must there be hardships? We all go through tough times. But I wish we didn't have to.

That reminds me, when have I been truly happy? and when was she truly happy?

Lemonade - Passion

Forgot all about Passion ..

Party in the USA

Today I realized I went to a party every saturday in the month of October. It's been fun but this has got to stop...

Okay, this upcoming saturday is an exception but after that, i'll die down.

Hmm

School was surprisingly not that bad, considering Moping Monday. Watched a clip of Hamlet in tragic hero. Everyone was talking about the crazy Halloween party blah blah, HAHA 2 kids asked me if I really passed out...No I didn't? Funny how words go around and change little by little. or rather drastically. Daylight saving makes me feel kind of gloomy because the day ends so soon. BUUT I am LOVING the warm weather.. it has been so sunny, perfect, beautiful.

Random -I never look at the mirror in the car but today, I did while waiting for Jaewon to come out afterschool. I could only see my eyes in the mirror because it was placed weirdly (not the rearview or sideview but the actual mirror lol?), and I know this is random but I was quite amazed for that split second, I look EXACTLY the same from when I was little- same old eyes !! People's faces change as they get older but I haven't changed at all...I don't know, I was really surprised haha.

I want to quit Hollister and move onto bigger and better things....like Petworld :-) ha !! no but really, I need a new job that will pay me more than $220 a month because I have to pay my own tuition now.. and HCo certainly doesn't allow me to do this. I am so sick of that place: inconsistent managers, horrible pay, not enough hours, dramaful co-workers, ghetto customers, shoplifters, people that let their kids cry (more like screech) while they just shop, and nasty dust flying everywhere. Okay, now I'm just complaining...I'll stop

SO excited for Thanksgiving dinner at my friend Hannah's house! It's either before the actual day or after.. but her mom has mad cooking skills because she's a caterer? a cook? I don't know but omg Abi's cooking mm mm mmm

Miyazaki films to see:

• Ponyo
• Kiki's Delivery Service
• Howl's Moving Castle
• Castle in the Sky
• Spirited Away !

Veteran's Day next Wednesday = no school !