the word "abandon"

scares me
버리다
ie. 우릴 버렸다

i never thought of the situation that way but i guess it's the truth.
but the sad thing is that i really don't mind.
i'll miss you someday
SOMEday
but not now.
i'm actually glad


i remember at one ce winter conference, i dont remember who the guest speaker/pastor was (he was from some other church), but during the prayer he came up to me and after he prayed for me he specifically said "He wants me to let you know that when everyone else leaves you, He will never ever leave you. He will never abandon you" and that kinda hit me hard and i didnt understand why then. i could've thought 'he probably says that to everyone' but it was different. well i think i kinda get it now with everything that has happened this year.

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on a brighter note,
it's christmas eve!!!

i'll have work and then i dunno what will happen because my mom and i thought the church christmas performance would be on xmas eve but it was actually today/yesterday. so i ended up missing it and worked 430-1230am-____- so unbelievably tired right now. we basically planned out the next few days around that but now i dont know. maybe i'll take us out on sushi..and go to the GROVE!! even though we planned to go there ON christmas day. or maybe watch AVATAR!! although my mom doesnt want to see that ..hmmm i guess whatever we do we'll make it fun and special. i freaking love my mom

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i cant wait til kairos
!!!